All is Fair in Love and War Especially War
by Dreaming Out Loud since '98
Summary: SLOW UPDATES! Meet Lillian Khan, newest tenant at 221B Baker Street and verbal sparring partner of a Sherlock Holmes. A new case is brought to the trio and it lead far into the depths of the twisted human mind...
1. Chapter 1

**Right-o, first proper fanfiction as well as first Sherlock Holmes story and first work I've ever published if you don't count that random cracky one shot I wrote with my friend for another fandom. GODDAMNIT, I'M SO NERVOUS *has mental breakdown***

**I was kinda wanting do a Holmes/OC story and when I noticed that the building had 3 floors it led on from there… Also. Holmes might be slightly OOC. Yeah, sorry about that.**

**Anyway, just want you to know that I only watched the first movie a couple of weeks ago and AGOS was already out of cinemas when I developed my new obsession :'(**

**This chapter is dedicated to i-love-u-long-time for promising to read it before it was even published!**** XD**

**DISCLAIMER****: I don't own anything except from Lily Khan! Trust me if I did, there would be a magnificent tea party in every film where Holmes and Jack Sparrow squabble about which is better; rum or tea and cocaine or pros- ahem, 'pleasurable company'*sigh* if only… :3**

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><p><em><strong>LILY POV\\**_

I stepped out of the hansom cab which I had hailed from Waterloo with my luggage and paid the driver after giving the horse a quick rub on the nose. I was always rather fond of animals; they took me back to my childhood in India under the hot beating sun playing with the dogs and riding on Father's mares everyday…I sighed. India was so different to the cold, dreary England I had seen so far.

Gathering up my sparse belongings, I marched up the stairs to the tall building that was to be my new lodgings, 221B Baker Street, London.

Pulling the doorbell, I waited somewhat nervously until the door was opened by a harried looking elderly woman who had obviously had seen too much stress in her lifetime.

"Hello there dear, who do you want to see?" she asked politely as her strained temper would allow.

"H-hello! I was wondering about the empty room that was advertised is still free?" I said, waving the newspaper I had bought from the station vaguely.

"Of course, of course. Just sit down there, dear and I'll be back in a bit" she said, letting me in before hurrying up the stairs to shout something at someone in one of the rooms.

She returned, looking faintly green which riled me slightly and led me into the parlour where arrangements were made and I was taken to my room which was on the top floor.

"Give me a yell if you want anything!" were Mrs Hudson's parting words and she left me to unpack my things.

There wasn't much practical items like clothes as I'd figured that it would be better to buy them here and travel light. My notebooks and journals were the most precious things in the world to me as well of the pictures of my friends and family. Not that they were any left…but that's a story for another time.

After arranging my things around the flat, it just felt like home again and I smiled happily.

Now, I thought to myself, to meet the neighbours.

_**/HOLMES POV\\**_

There was a knock on the door, not Watson's booming one neither Nanny's sharp one. Odd, I don't tend to get clients on a Sunday morning. They were usually out kneeling at churches and having bread and wine or whatever the hell is it they do on this day of 'holiness'. Huh, I made a joke.

"Come in!" I said curiously, wanting to see this mystery person.

A young woman stepped into my room approximately in her late twenties, her button nose immediately crinkling up at the strong thick atmosphere which smelt of rotten eggs

"Good heavens! Are you trying to suffocate yourself, man?" she demanded and without waiting for an answer, she crossed the room, throwing open all the curtains and windows.

I screeched at the sudden amount of light streaming through the windows into the once dark room and seeked solace behind the armchair.

"What do you want, devil-woman?" I yelled miserably from my hiding place.

"What I 'wanted', good sir, was to introduce myself to you as I am now living in the same house as you! But no, a woman cannot even say hello to her neighbour without him trying to kill himself!" she ranted and I continued cowering behind the piece of furniture.

"What on earth is going on?" Watson, my saviour, exclaimed sprinting in.

"Oh Watson, my dear ,dear Watson!" I pitifully cried as I crawled towards him, grabbing his legs and giving him my puppy dog eyes. "This malicious harpy intruded into my privacy and opened the curtains and windows! THE CURTAINS, WATSON!"

"Poppycock! I did not 'intrude' at all! I knocked on the door and you said to come in! Liar!" she retorted, her hands on her hips glaring at me with narrowed emerald gold flecked eyes.

Watson, completely confused why I was going hammer and tongs with a complete stranger, looked back at her, a silent question forming on his lips.

She softened her gaze for Watson and strode up to us, sticking out her hand for him to shake which he duly did [ever the gentleman]. I tried to bat her away from my Boswell but she gave me a death glare again and I started whimpering into Watson's trouser leg.

"I'm Lillian Khan and I've just moved in upstairs. I came to introduce myself to your little child there and you like a good neighbour should when I noticed that the entire room smelt of sulphur and God knows what else so I went to open to open the windows and that's when he started bawling like an overgrown baby!" she huffed.

"I'm dreadfully sorry about him, Miss Khan. He's not that fond of light. I'm Dr John Watson and the 'overgrown baby' is Sherlock Holmes, the world's only consulting detective." he said, ruffling my hair fondly. I then realised that I was looking like a child having a tantrum and straightened up immediately.

"Is he a vampire?" she asked outright, not looking at me at all now which I seemed to prefer to the glaring.

Watson tried to cover up his laughter with coughing, failing miserably. "No, just a genius who likes to sit indoors, I assure you."

"Genius detective, eh? What can you tell about me, O God of All Intelligence?" she challenged me, smirking.

I smiled at her. Oh please, this was my forte!

"Just by your name alone, you are child of a rich Mogul and an English lady of class and lived in India for the entirety of your life so far. Or rather, you were, judging by your red rimmed eyes and your coming to London. You have sold all your property in India you gained in you share of the will so you could live here in peace and comfort. Also that dress looks brand new and you seem awkward wearing it because you're used to being more free. Your stance is of a horse rider, particularly a mare rider. The inkstains on your right hand and small discreet blotches on your sleeve show me you're an avid writer and the calluses on your thumb say that you're that a page flipper as well. Oh and you smell like lilies because you bought some approximately 3 hours ago."

"…This doesn't stop you being a vampire, you know." she snapped back which sent Watson into further peals of laughter.

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><p><strong>Oh god, that was fun to write! I'm sorry for writing so much in Holmes POV, it's just so much more fun to say things. I cracked up at my own story which means you will too, right? *pouty lip* Anyway, I hope I did whole deduce-y thingy alright [deduce-y thingy, listen to me ^.^]<strong>

**Anywho, this was just written after a shot of pure inspiration so I'm not sure I'm going to continue this or not so I really need your feedback.**

**There's a magical little button down there, my fellow Sherlockians. It is called a review button. Press it and I promise that I shall give out cyber cookies and a cyber snog from RDJ or Jude Law [both if you make it nice! ]**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey again! Since people did seem to like my stories and I got some reviews which really boosted my self-esteem. Thanks guys! :***

**Oh and your rewards, reviewers! *hands a bag of cookies and Rob and Jude on a leash to each person***

**This chapter is dedicated to my real life best mate for all her surreal ideas on how to continue from the last chapter. And for God's sake, woman, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I AM NOT PUTTING A PLOTLINE IN ABOUT WOODWORMS IN SHERLOCK BLOODY HOLMES' TROUSERS. Ahem. **

**I'll try not to completely disregard my grammar skills this time T.T Also, try and do less OOCness.**

**DISCLAIMER: ****I DON'T OWN SHERLOCK HOLMES AT ALL! If I did, you would see Rachel McAdams being a replaced with crazy high-strung fangirl with glasses singing S&M on loop. And that, my dear audience, would be just plain insane.**

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><p><em><strong>WATSON POV\\**_

After regaining my lost composure, I stood back up again to see a sullen Holmes and Miss Khan chuckling in triumph at the sulk.

"Anyway, the reason I came here." I cleared my throat, "Mary's invited you to dinner with us at 9, Holmes. You should come too, Miss Khan; she will be pleased to meet a new companion"

"Thank you, Dr Watson. If your wife is anything like you, I would be very happy to be her friend." Miss Khan replied, smiling gratefully at me

"She's not." muttered Holmes, eyes flashing at the mention of my fiancée.

"Holmes, I find it touching that Mary's decided to give a second chance because she know how much we mean to each other. Quite frankly, I didn't want a repeat of last time but now I see that I've got Miss Khan to keep an eye on you, I'm happy to give it another go."

He snorted derisively, obviously planning some sort of disruption. I looked pleadingly at Miss Khan who looked annoyed at the babysitting duty before finally sighing and nodded yes.

"Only on one condition, Doctor. Please call me Lily; I don't like being spoken to so formally."

"Then you must call me John. And on that note I must take my leave. Wear a jacket, Holmes!" were my parting words and I left Baker Street feeling rather sorry for the 2 women I had left behind stuck with a raving lunatic.

_**/LILY POV\\**_

"You wear a jacket." Holmes retorted to the closed door and I sighed even more heavily. That caught his attention.

"Why are you still here?" he snapped at me, "Shoo!"

"I honestly don't know." I replied and went back upstairs to the sanctuary that was my rooms, slamming the door behind me and sprawling on the comfy sofa that looked onto all of Regent's Park.

Boy, I have to admit it that was fun. It was like having an annoying brother all over again. Again.

You see, Holmes was right. I _was_ a daughter to two people I was proud to call my parents. I was away on a short trip to the Himalayas with my governess and butler for religious and educational purposes when a cholera epidemic struck the village where our house rested on the outskirts. Neither my parents nor my brothers survived. That was a month ago. London had seemed the safest bet so I sold all everything that I owned there and travelled to the hub of the world's greatest empire. But I evaluated, I still needed to find a job as my amount of money could only last me so long and I had to stock up on the necessities.

Grabbing the cheques, I went back downstairs, pausing slightly on the first floor landing then shaking my head, and asked Mrs Hudson where the nearest marketplace was. She gave directions to Camden Market and sent me on my way.

_**/HOLMES POV\\**_

As soon as the front door closed, I immediately relaxed. That woman was so downright and rude! Was it not a woman's duty to be seen and not heard? There was only one exception to the rule I had encountered so far. The mystifying Irene Adler. But Miss Khan seemed similar to her but a lot different too. They both shared a way of driving me round the bend and locks of dark, glossy hair but Miss Khan was more caring [she did do her dastardly deed out of pure concern for a stranger], more polite to people who treated her kindly [judging by the way she talked to Watson] and was more naturally beautiful than Irene who caked herself in make up…_Whoa, stop right there, old chap!_ No need to go _that_ far.

Removing the latest thought from my mind with a frown, I mused on what would've happened if she hadn't come in and opened the damn windows. Asphyxiation was the most probable outcome. So she did save my life, I suppose but I could've done without the vampire comparison. My manly pride battled it out with logic and came away wounded so apologize to the she-devil it was then.

Muttering darkly to myself, I closed the windows and _curtains_ before settling myself in front of the fire with my clay pipe and a copy of the Daily Mail waiting for Nanny to bring up the breakfast.

**Later that day…**_** [LILY POV]**_

I waited outside for Holmes to get bloody move on so we could get a carriage to The Royale. Although dinner was at 9, he'd insisted we set off at 8 so we could have the 'advantage' of being fashionably early. Being unfamiliar to London, I had no clue what type of place The Royale was. Posh restaurant? Fancy gastro pub? Gin palace?

Shivering in my newly bought hat and dress which I had to ask Mrs Hudson to assist me on putting it on [why on Earth did it have so many damn strings?], I decided to hail a cab and go there myself.

Stepping on to the road, I looked both ways for one but no avail so I started walking slowly down the street towards the main road where I would I have better luck. At least, I hoped it was the main road…

Twenty minutes later, I was completely and utterly lost, deeply regretting not waiting for the new bane of my life. Leering men gave me once-overs in the streets and there were no Peelers or cabbies in sight. Stopping a passing kind looking old man, I asked him where I was and how to get back to Baker Street.

He looked at me, puzzled. "Dear girl, you're in Wapping! Personally, I don't know where Baker Street is but I advise you to get to a safe place immediately. There's no telling about so called gentlemen at night."

I thanked him and the dear man went on his way, giving me a concerned look over his shoulder.

Trying to retrace my steps, I turned back the way I came from and got halfway down the road before I was confronted by three thuggish men blocking my way. I tried move around them but they shifted accordingly.

"Look what we 'ave 'ere, boys." The middle one smirked, obviously the leader, "A lil lady, lost and all alone. Should we help her out like proper gentlemen?"

His cronies laughed identical hyena cackles, stepping either side of me whilst making me back up to a wall so I was surrounded on all sides.

"Thank you, but I do not require assistance, good sirs. Now if you excuse me, I'll be on my way." I replied, bobbing a curtsey and attempting to move through a fast closing gap between Minion One and Mr Boss as I had so affectionately named them. Mr Boss blocked me with his gigantic arm.

"None of that, lady. You see, me and the lads 'ave been cravin' some company on this chilly night and now you've turned up to warm things up." He said, backing me up to the wall and harshly kissing me before I could scream and forcing his tongue in, hands wildly trying to rip my dress. The minions laughed and one of them slashed me with a knife where ever he could reach.

Thinking fast, I bit his tongue so hard, I swear it felt like that I'd actually bitten it clean off and kneed him where no self-respecting woman should have done. He howled and curled up in a ball on the floor, clutching his parts. Minion One came up and I quickly took a hat pin from my arranged hair and stabbed him in the eye and did the same to Minion Two but in the neck.

I ran as fast as I could with tears streaming down my face and covered in blood from the horrific place and straight into a muscular body.

Terrified of a repeat of what happened mere seconds ago, I tried dodging around them but they had a hold on my wrist.

"Miss Khan? Miss Khan? Lillian! What happened?" a familiar husky voice asked and I stopped and instead folded into Holmes' arms, sobbing madly.

I felt him pick me up bridal style and I fainted dead, with my arms wrapped around his shoulder and my head in the crook of his neck.

_**/HOLMES POV\\**_

Miss Khan had given up on me and she set off on her own, stupid woman, in the completely wrong direction. After putting my hat and shoes on, I set off behind, curious to find out where she would end up in London on her own and my subconscious added, _to keep her out of danger._

I admit, I lost her in at the docks and found her again following an obscure street on the outskirts of Wapping. She was quite ahead of me so I struggled to catch up but evidently I didn't need to when I saw her sprinting back the way she came, covered head to toe in blood and her new dress hanging half off her.

I caught her arm as she sped past, and she turned round, trying to get free, tears clouding her vision.

"Miss Khan? Miss Khan? Lillian! What happened?" I asked frantically, my mind already making conclusions from her appearance.

She recognised my voice and stopped resisting against my grip and collapsed onto my chest, making my-Watson's-jacket wet with renewed sobbing. I picked her up and she immediately entwined herself around me and fainted, her head lolling lazily on my shoulder.

I spotted a private carriage jingling along at the junction at the top of the road and I lifted Miss Khan up and started ran towards it, signalling the driver to stop. A middle-aged woman poked her head out of the window annoyed at the pause but saw Miss Khan in my arms, bloodied and bruised and flung the door open to let us in.

"221B Baker Street, please ma'am. It's an emergency." I panted, out of breath.

She pursed her lips, concerned and hollered it to the driver who picked up the reins again and set off at a quick pace.

"You're that Sherlock Holmes, aren't you?" she asked me and I nodded in reply. "She's a lucky girl with a person like you looking after her."

I smiled at the old dear. "That she is." I sighed heavily, thinking of the outcomes had I not been there.

The carriage dropped us off directly in front of the house and I started banging the door madly.

"Hold your horses, I'm coming!" Nanny shouted and opened the door to see the pair of us, shocked.

Ignoring her, I shoved past and laid Miss Khan on the sofa in the parlour.

"Nanny, bring water and clean cloths. Oh and go send one of Irregulars to bring Watson, we seem to require his expertise." I said, distractedly, waving her away.

Taking the ruined dress off Miss Khan, I looked at the damage. Several long deep cuts that were going to leave permanent scars traced her body, slashing the muslin shift she had on underneath. Her heartbeat was erratic like she was having a nightmare and her breathing was shallow.

Suddenly, her eyes flew open, startling me.

"Mr Holmes…" she breathed.

"Yes, Miss Khan?" I asked pleasantly, as if we were on a stroll in the park.

"Thank you."

"I believe I was just returning the favour from this morning." I winked at her.

"Ha. You're sorry." She muttered triumphantly and closed her eyes again, succumbing to bliss of unconsciousness.

I smiled in spite of myself.

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><p><strong>WOOP! Another chapter finished! PARTAAAY! *gets rum and pretzels out*<strong>

**I realise that it is HIGHLY unlikely that you wouldn't see a cab near the Baker Street area [Camden] and I'm not sure Wapping is even anywhere near Camden but bear with me, please.**

**I had intended this chapter to be more bantering and petty arguments with Mary but I came up with all the angst-ridden rape stuff just there and then and it seemed a good idea. I wrote the majority of this today because I had the day off and there was nothing to do except to write and watch Iron Man 1 [Can Robert get anymore sexier? Oh, I wish I was Pepper Potts, Tony Stark's girlfriend, secretary and pretty to boot]****PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! The reward from the last chapter still stands ;) *shakes a bag of cookies***


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm back! I'm sorry if I'm annoying you with my random updates but I'm really busy doing homework and other stuff. Lame excuse, I know but I'm really beginning to lose my muse with this story and I'm only continuing it for your sakes.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Candy [candyfloss2008] for becoming my critic in return for me being hers.**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I do not and ever will do own Sherlock Holmes as much as I beg my parents to buy the rights for my birthday [31****st**** August, if you want to know] ;)**

_**/WATSON POV\\**_

Mary and I were just about to get in a waiting carriage when I spotted one of the younger Irregulars running at full pelt down the road at me.

"Oh, dear God… What's he done now? Blow up the house? Kill Mrs Hudson? Die?" I asked the boy in a long-suffering tone. Mary laughed at my suggestions, not knowing that with Holmes all of them were completely possible.

"N-no, sir...It's Miss Khan. Sh-she's 'urt real bad, sir. She needs y-your help." He panted, hands on knees, gulping for breath.

"First day here and he's already gotten her injured. Come along, Tomas." I sighed and we boarded the carriage and it trundled along to Baker Street, leaving my hopes of a normal civil dinner behind.

I rushed through the already open door which was being held by an anxious Mrs Hudson with Mary on my heels.

"In the parlour." she informed me, her face ashen white.

Lily was covered in blood and Holmes was dabbing away at her wounds, cleaning methodically and wetting the cloth in an already blood-tinged bucket of water.

He rose when he spotted me, sleeves rolled up and clothes already covered in blood.

"Ah, Watson, just when I didn't need you! As you can see, I have handled the situation expertly and am about to put the bandages on. There is no sign of infection and she'll wake up completely fine from the anaesthetic I have administered to her. I'll then have Nanny dress her in some clean clothes and take her up to her own room where she'll have bed rest. Aren't you proud?"

"I'm a qualified doctor, Holmes, I'll see about that." I snapped back and examined the patient.

Deep cuts but with regular cleaning they should heal up nicely leaving only scars. Blood pressure seemed normal and so did her breathing rate. Damn that man.

Helping him wrap the bandages around the wounds without it getting too awkward, we laid Lily back down.

"Fine," I said, grudgingly. "But it still doesn't explain how on Earth she got them. Did you shove her out of the carriage to see what happens? Or, wait for it; she cut herself because she developed depression from living with you?"

"No and no. I'm disappointed, Watson, your deduction skills have declined greatly; Miss Khan's ripped bloodied dress on the floor should've said it all."

Mary's hand flew to her mouth. "She was raped?"

Holmes flinched from hearing her voice, before nodding slowly. "At least, I believe so. She wasn't able to give me any details before she fainted but she should wake up in…" he checked his fob watch, "Three, two, one…"

A groan from the recliner signalled that she had regained consciousness at the exact time that Holmes had finished saying one. How the devil does he do it?

_**/LILY POV\**_

Groaning, I opened my eyes reluctantly to the harsh light and saw Holmes and John peering at me and a pretty auburn woman dithering about in the corner.

"Ow...Oh God, I'm sore all over, what on earth happened?"I said, attempting to prop myself up with my elbows.

"We were just about to ask that question ourselves, Miss Khan, maybe you'd care to enlighten us?" Holmes asked, with a certain glint in his eye which I couldn't pin down. I'll muse about it later; my most harrowing concern right now was what the hell happened to me.

Shaking myself from the thick fog that lay on my brain, I remembered what happened. Getting lost, those three men, being knifed and-and fainting in Holmes' arms. I cringed at the memory. I don't _faint, _that's reserved for those infuriating, insipid drawing-room misses that I call my peers. Failing to erase the memory from my mind, I answered his question.

"There were these men and I was lost and they-they violated me. I only just escaped from the more…harsher treatment when I saw you and I sort of blacked out…I'm sorry I totally ruined your evening, it just goes to show that I missed out when they were handing out patience." I joked lamely, directing it to John and person I deduced was soon to be Mrs Watson.

John half-smiled at the remark but still didn't lose the look of concern from his face. Holmes, I assumed, had guessed as much what with his powers of deduction he had turned on me this morning.

"Oh you poor dear!" gasped Mary and broke into chorus of sobs which made me raise an eyebrow. I mean, seriously? I'm the victim here!

John went over to comfort her and Holmes grinned at my expression of disgust and shock on my face.

"You're right, she's nothing like him. And I thought it was just your antisocial tendencies kicking in." I whispered to him.

"To be perfectly honest, I don't know how the deuce Watson fell in love with that over-emotional sodden rag anyway. He's always liked a bit of adventure and exoticness which is leads to my theory of her being a witch or very good in bed." he replied in the same tone, also observing John bring Mary back from her fit of vapours.

"Here's an idea. Don't even go there, Holmes."

He laughed again, which made me smile. He had such a genuine happy laugh yet it sounded unused…

"I'd prefer if you'd call me Holmes than Mr Holmes. It's so polite and I'm not really the one for formalities."

"I'd figured." I chuckled and turned back to the couple who had sorted their priorities out, as it were.

"Miss Khan-"I gave her a look, "Lily, we were wondering if you'd like to have some dinner here as going out is definitely out of the window." Mary asked, her hands knotting

"I'd love to but I'm a bit bloody, as you can see. If someone could help me…" I responded, gesturing to blood-soaked clothing.

Hold on a minute! My wounds were clean and bandaged and Holmes had a bucket and cloth next to him… Oh God, all my cuts which were mainly located near my chest. My cheeks started burning a bright red but because of my skin shade, I was certain no one had noticed. Maybe.

"Of course, I'll help you! John, darling, help me take Lily to her room." Mary suddenly said, interrupting my reverie of silent cringing.

John hoisted me up the stairs on his own and sat me down carefully on my bed before leaving me and Mary to it.

As soon as the door shut, she rounded on me.

"Well? What's your relationship with Holmes? I saw you two laughing together! Do you like him? Do you think he's handsome? Are you planning on marriage?"

"Actually, we-" I tried to reply but she interrupted again.

"Shh! You obviously like him but the question is, does like you? I'm going to make him like you, dear and you are such a pretty little thing, we can use it to our advantage. Where do you keep your clothes?"

Deciding that the path of least resistance was the best way to deal with this good-intentioned romantic, I pointed towards the bags and boxes strewn on the floor.

She tutted at the mess and after rummaging through them she picked out a pale blue dress with silver embroidery on the bodice and hem.

"Oh, this is just lovely! Where did you get it?" she questioned me, holding it up admiringly.

"Erm, this shop in the market..."

"You must point it out to me when we go shopping together! Come on, I'll help you put it on." she gushed, addressing me as if I was her best friend.

I changed into a new shift and dragged the garment over my head, wincing as I stretched my arms. Mary tied up the various strings and what not and laced some slippers onto my feet then arranging my hair elaborately. After dressing me up, she started on herself, using my vanity mirror to its full advantage.

Going down the stairs was a less trying task and I made it to the dining room door feeling like a fragile china doll, afraid of putting a foot wrong. God, was Holmes gonna give me stick for this.

_**/HOLMES POV\\**_

Mrs Hudson had just finished setting the table when the two women walked in, Mary in her usual splendour with Lily trailing behind her even more made up, recognisable only by her dark colouring and unique eyes.

She caught me staring and glanced at Mary for explanation, rolling her eyes. I winked at her and raised my eyebrows in reply. Mary saw me and smiled in a triumphant manner which left me confused. Unless…

We sat down to a beautifully done British steak with the usual accompaniments. Nanny had outdone herself today, I must compliment her in my usual off-hand way.

"So, Lily, are you enjoying England so far?" Mary asked, rather stupidly in my opinion.

"It's just wonderful, darling! I've only been raped and slashed to ribbons. Oh and let's not forget the brilliant weather!" was her sarky reply, making me inhale the vintage Barsac up my nose.

I returned from the coughing attack sopping wet much to Miss Khan's amusement who then handed me a napkin.

The ice was successfully broken and soon Watson and Mary were making their own conversation about the upcoming wedding. Miss Khan and I were pleasantly chatting about the wonderful life in India.

"Once, my father and I went on a walk together in one of the crop fields as an early morning jaunt when we came into the most horrible scene. A farmer boy, only about 7 or 8, having a cardiac arrest while this horrible snake slithered towards him. Father shot it immediately and it died before it could even try to retaliate but unfortunately we couldn't save the poor boy." She said,

"The Indian Cobra, I assume or to call it by it's binomial name, _naja naja._"

"Exactly. One of the disappointing things about England is that there is no unusual entertainment on the streets. Walk down a road in Agra, you'll see about 10 snake charmers, all playing different tunes but the snakes doing the same intricate dance."

"Not many people know that the snake is not dancing to the music but to the movement of the instrument. I'll demonstrate; wave your fork in a fancy pattern."

She did as I asked and I climbed onto the table, shoving plates and cutlery aside.

"What the-" Watson yelled, getting up.

I swayed in my body as if I was ribbon in the wind, matching the utensil's movements perfectly. To add more realism, I flickered my tongue in and out. When the fork went low, so did I but I accidentally licked Watson's ear.

"That's it!" he declared and wrestled me back into the chair, pinning my arms down to the rests.

"Killjoy…"I muttered when he let go, trusting me enough not to get up and do it again.

Something was rather odd; Miss Khan was nowhere to be seen…There was loud snort from under the table then a hiccupping sob. I peered under the tablecloth to investigate and saw Miss Khan in some sort of a fit with tears streaming down her face, finding it difficult to breathe.

**I'm sorry again for the late update! It's been 3 weeks today since I uploaded my first chapter of the story and can I say, I'm so proud about all the views I've been getting and it's giving me the ego-boost of the century!**

**This story is unbeta'd so I'm sorry about the mistakes etc. So yeah…**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	4. RIDICULOUSLY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!

_**VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY(YOU GET THE POINT) AUTHOR'S NOTE!**_

A horrible tragedy has occured and I will have to discontinue the fanfiction. I'll explain the story from the start so you understand my pain bringing this message.

Basically, because my parents are uber-strict I'm not allowed Internet in my room so consequently I am not allowed my own laptop so I have to use a 7 year old laptop that doesn't have wireless broadband thingies to write then transfer it to the PC downstairs using a USB. The aforementioned laptop has committed suicide and I can't tell my parents because a) They don't know about my account and b)This is the second computer I've broken because of the illegal music I used to download. I downloaded it using the PC and had the back-up on the old laptop. The PC broke down a couple of months ago and I haven't done an illegal act since but I forgot I had the back-up on the laptop so it's just done the same. Like literally, it was a few hours ago. I had just opened it up and planning to write the chapter that was really gonna get the party started when it refused to get past the loading Windows screen. So yeah...

Why can't I type it up on the PC like I'm doing now?, I hear you ask. Well, I'm only allowed like a hour max of internet on it and because, you know, it's not a laptop I always have someone breathing down my neck and like I've said, no one knows about me uploading juicy chappies. No one's in the house right now so I really want to get this message across NOW.

I had such great plans for this fanfiction...BUT, there is still hope! I MAY be able to get a chapter up once month so keep on eye on this.

I AM TRULY SORRY!


	5. Chapter 4

**Why hello there! It's the Easter holidays and I've stolen Dad's laptop to give you an earlier than expected update. It's really short but this is really gonna get the party started, swear! **

**Happy Spring/Easter break to all! Hee hee hee! *hands out Cadbury's Crème Eggs***

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><p><em><strong>3**__**rd**__** PERSON POV\**_

It was a moonless night in the world's greatest city, the darkness engulfing the unusually quiet city.

Slumbering drunks lay in the gutters and snoring watchmen let their duties lie.

Not that any of this mattered to smart cloaked figure that was stiding down Fleet Street. He stopped by the house that read 42 and looked up to the open window, the curtain fluttering in the breeze.

One break in, muted cry and sadistic murder later, a man slipped out the back of the house, donning his cloak once more.

The click-clack of his heels soon faded away into the distance, leaving a home and a family which will never see happiness again for it was destroyed in one night a man who wasn't even there…

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><p><strong>Told you it was a short one! Chapter 5 is underway in my notebook and I hope it will be up soon.<strong>

**For those who were going "What the…" at the end of the last chapter, I apologise as I was just including an idea of my friend's. She's slightly…odd but I am even more so!**

**I was listening to Muse's 'Map of the Problematique' so it's very dark…**


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